I’ve always been fascinated about what makes people tick. What makes us decide what we will do and who we will become? I've always found Psychology extremely interesting and even minored in it in college.
I was so close to switching my major from Elementary Education to Psychology but something held me back. It wasn't until recently when I finally started discovering why I didn't make that switch.
I also wonder how some people can come out of difficult childhoods or traumatic situations and still fulfill their wildest dreams whereas other people with similar experiences don’t make it very far and would be considered unsuccessful.
I think that it all boils down to a person’s thoughts.
The people who dwell on the negative thoughts regarding their past or why they believe they can’t succeed stay stuck. They use their past as an excuse as to why they are not living the life they want.
On the other hand, the people who dwell on positive thoughts and stay focused on what they want to accomplish do very well. These people aren’t allowing previous circumstances to stand in their way so they decide to persevere.
I’ve come to the conclusion that the things we do are based on how we want to feel. Basically, our thoughts create our feelings; our feelings create our actions; our actions create our results.
The person I mentioned above who chose to stay limited by their past may not want to feel the fear and uncertainty that accompanies stepping outside their comfort zone. Therefore they think this is just how their life is meant to be.
The person who didn’t allow their past struggles to confine them to that life may have chosen to feel determined, powerful and free. Therefore they think they have every chance of being successful no matter what.
I, myself didn't switch my major to Psychology because I was scared of the work it would take to complete the requirements. It was an unknown world to me, although very fascinating. On the other hand, education was more familiar to me and felt less scary.
A person who wants to feel:
proud may run a marathon.
smart may study really hard for an exam.
carefree may work really long hours for a few days so they can take a relaxing vacation.
satiated may eat a meal.
valuable may create a business to coach others on how to live their ideal lives.
loved may show love to their family and friends.
So, if every feeling in our life is because of a thought we’re thinking, then it makes sense that we need to begin looking inside our minds and be conscious of our thoughts.
A thought is just a sentence that we are thinking. The thought just sits there in our brain.
Often times we get into thought patterns that continue on autopilot and we aren’t even aware of them. Our thoughts are often running around unsupervised unless we pay attention to them and take control.
If we can think of ourselves as an observer of our minds, then we can really start separating the circumstances of our life from the feelings we have about our life.
For example, when you feel a certain way, get into the routine of asking yourself why you’re feeling that emotion.
- Why are you feeling angry?
- Why are you feeling anxious?
- Why are you feeling happy?
If you notice you are feeling overwhelmed ask yourself, “why am I feeling overwhelmed?” Is it because you have a lot of things on your to-do list? Is it because you don’t have enough time to finish a project? Is it because you have lots of responsibilities? Again, know your “why”.
If you are doing a specific action (or choosing to take inaction), ask yourself why you’re doing that action.
- Why am I eating this whole bag of cookies?
- Why am I pressing snooze 5 times every morning?
- Why am I putting off a project?
- Why am I not starting the business I feel so strongly about?
- Why am I choosing this major or career?
If you notice you are eating a bag of chips while watching TV, ask yourself, “why am I eating this?” Know your “why”.
- Is it because you are hungry?
- Is it because it just tastes good?
- Is it because you wanted to treat yourself to some relaxation time?
- Is it because you are distracting yourself from something?
Get out of your own head and see the situation for what it is. Once you can strip away all the noise and chaos of the situation, you can begin to see what the issue truly is. Just list out the facts and don’t inject any thoughts or feelings about the circumstance.
When you really stop to ask yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing or feeling what you’re feeling, you will notice that it always comes down to a thought you are thinking.
A one sentence thought has a tremendous amount of power over your life’s results.
Once you can become aware of your thoughts you can then decide which thoughts you want to keep thinking and which thoughts you want to get rid of. This will allow you to become the person you desire to be and therefore design the life you desire to live. The thoughts we think are a choice.
It really is that simple. (simple---not easy!) I began to shed all the self-limiting beliefs and start building my dream life the moment this concept clicked for me. I got rid of any thought that wasn’t serving me.
I created new and improved thoughts that have served me well. I have practiced this enough to where I have become very picky about the thoughts I let enter my mind. I don’t hesitate to kick out unwelcome thoughts. It is your mind so you need to be the leader and boss. Take control!
I want you to take a few minutes of quiet time to really let this information sink in. Become aware of your feelings and actions because then you can start noticing which thoughts you are thinking. Our thoughts are choices, so by choosing your thoughts carefully you can design the life you want.
It will take practice and it will take time but it will be so worth it.
Don’t let the battle between you and your brain get in your way of your desired life.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Comment below or join my Facebook group Empire of Moms where we can interact and really get to know each other. I hope to see you there!
We really get into this concept in more detail in my coaching program, "Your Limitless Life". The only personalized dream-life accelerator that propels you forward to reach your fullest potential and live the life you were meant to live. Click here to learn more or email me and we can set up a time to talk. I'm here for YOU!